Definition: A person whom one knows and with whom one has a bond of mutual affection.

Well, maybe at an earlier age, but not today. At least not by the standards of social media. Today a friend is someone that you have never met, never ‘talked to’, or have any idea who they are. They are no more then a voice on a screen. They can become anything they think you would like them to be. They can, therefore, become your BFF. Which, according to Webster means “a person who doesn’t gossip about or lie to you”. Really????

No, I’m talking about real friends, the difference being, I know my flesh and blood friends and I even know what they look like. And yes, they may even gossip about me, but I have at least met them and decided that I would want them for a friend. A real friend. Someone I know. Someone that accepts me for who I am and I them. Someone who’s company I enjoy and appears to enjoy mine. Someone I can talk to, laugh with, share with, and worry about.

As my years progress, I can’t tell you how important that has become to me. Single living, regardless of age or situation, is very much dependent upon friends. So much of what we do, or what we need, is dependent upon others. And, as our needs increase, it becomes easy to determine who those friends are. They are the one’s that are not only there when the times are good, but when the times are not so good. The times when you need a little support, a little help, or just a voice that lets you know they are there. The one’s that step up when you need them. The one’s that are available when you need a ride to an appointment, or check to see if they can pick something up for you at the market. They are the ones that include you in their activities and let you know they care. Not through words, but through actions. They may not be obvious during normal activity. But, meet with a little difficulty and they magically show up.

I am happy to say that I have the pleasure of such friends. People that I don’t have to ask for help, because they already know I may need it and are the first to raise their hands. These are people that in some cases, I have known for years, and may not even live near me anymore. But they stay in touch. They make inquiries about how I am doing. They give me their ear and their understanding. Others are local acquaintances and neighbors, many of which you may only wave to as they pass, or chat briefly with when running into them at the store. You are always glad to see them and , apparently, they to see you. You don’t have to enlighten them with the problems life is throwing at you. They are getting hit with them also. Yet, they will take the time and exhibit the compassion to offer you help.

I have, and always have had difficulty accepting offers of help. I think this stems from, as a boy, being told, frequently, by my dad, “do not look to others to provide that which you can do yourself”. I have lived that my whole life, and for the most part, have been able to provide for myself. So it is with some hesitation that I accept an offer of help, all the while taking great pleasure in offering the same. To be able to provide assistance brings me the satisfaction that in some small way, I made a difference. I have to believe that the same holds true for my friends. So, with some reluctance, I have begun to accept offers for rides, or inclusion in invitations. In the end, we both receive something of value. In today’s world, there is something to be said for that. Friendship is reciprocal. Like a smile, you get what you give.

About oldmainer

I am a retired manager living in Southern Maine and a would be writer of poetry, narratives, short stories, and random opinions, and that's how Oldmainer was born. Recently, I decided to try an experiment. I added photography to the mix, using only a cheap cell phone with a limited camera and the editing software that came with it, and added the blog site Inklings at to showcase the results. So, feel free to use whatever you find interesting or worthy, but please honor the terms of my copyright when and if you do. They may not be much, but they are still a piece of me. I appreciate your checking me out and hope that you find something that will encourage a return visit. Thanks for stopping by.
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3 Responses to Friends

  1. scifihammy says:

    You are lucky to have these kinds of friends – and they to have you. You are so right. This is what a true friend is – not all that Facebook nonsense!
    And I understand not wanting to accept help, but it comes to us all. And you, still help others and the shelter dogs, so it all goes around.
    Keep smiling. 🙂


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