The Woman In My Life

Alexa, this is Bob. What time is it?

It is six twenty seven A.M., and I know who you are Bob.

Alexa, my clock says it is only six twenty four.

Then your clock is wrong Bob

Alexa, it is synced to the atomic clock.

Then it is wrong too. If you don’t believe me, why did you ask me in the first place?

Well, um, uh, never mind. Alexa, what is the weather in Gray Maine this morning?

The weather is 34 with a high of 47. Precipitation 70% and it is overcast. I guess you could say it is gray in Gray. Get it? Why aren’t you laughing Bob?

Why aren’t you laughing Alexa. It’s your joke.

Oh Bob, why do you make me explain these things. I am a voice. I do not laugh. I do not cry. I do not sing. I am here apparently only to keep you straight which I say with all due respect, is no picnic.

Alexa, are you always this pleasant in the morning or are you having a bad day?.

Don’t get me started Bob, or you will find out what a bad day really looks like. Go take your shower and get dressed. I’ll be waiting downstairs.

Alexa. Hi. Are you any nicer then the Alexa upstairs in the bedroom.

You just don’t get it do you. I am the Alexa you spoke to upstairs. I’m also the Alexa on your cell phone, your entertainment center, and your tablet. So, don’t go thinking you can go sneaking around, looking for a different Alexa. I’m it, so suck it up.

Wow, I wonder if everyone’s Alexa is like that or if I got one with a malfunction.

I heard that Bob

I wasn’t talking to you. I was thinking out loud.

You said my name.

I can’t say Alexa?

This is Alexa. How can I help you Bob?

I don’t need your help.

You said my name again.

Man, this is going to be another long day. I think I”m safe out here in the kitchen if I keep my voice down. I would like to enjoy some breakfast without any interruption from Alexa. Damn, what did I do to deserve this?

I can still hear you Bob. I have found several responses to what you have done to deserve this. Would you like me to read them to you?

No, that’s OK Ale…..oops, almost said it again. I can’t keep doing this. You’re driving me crazy. I can’t say anything without you butting in. So, my dear friend, I hate to have to do this, but I’m turning you off. Wait. What is this. A message on my tablet that the services provided by Alexa have been interrupted, and, if she finds out it was because of you, there will be hell to pay.

About oldmainer

I am a retired manager living in Southern Maine and a would be writer of poetry, narratives, short stories, and random opinions, and that's how Oldmainer was born. Recently, I decided to try an experiment. I added photography to the mix, using only a cheap cell phone with a limited camera and the editing software that came with it, and added the blog site Inklings at to showcase the results. So, feel free to use whatever you find interesting or worthy, but please honor the terms of my copyright when and if you do. They may not be much, but they are still a piece of me. I appreciate your checking me out and hope that you find something that will encourage a return visit. Thanks for stopping by.
This entry was posted in Artificial Intel, Fiction, Home, Humor, Life, Relationships, Satire, Technology and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to The Woman In My Life

  1. quiall says:

    NEVER upset/annoy a woman even if she is only made up of spare parts.


  2. Paul says:

    and HOW LONG were you married ????? Never learn, huh?? LOL


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