Have You Heard The One About

Trying to put a positive spin on today’s environment is kind of like taking a course entitled ‘Fun With Forensics’.  It’s probably not going to be fun at all and you are really only worried about getting a passing grade.  But, I’m sorry.  Maybe it’s just me.  Maybe there is something to be said for senility after all.  But I can’t help looking for the humor in all this.

If my email is any indication, it would appear I am not alone.  The creative minds among us are turning out some pretty funny stuff and, for me, it kind of takes the edge off.  I have seen several jokes about home schooling like “my son said he hopes he has a new teacher next year” and “I did one week of home schooling. They all graduated. Done”. I also saw a cartoon showing a grave site in the back yard with a caption “Day 7 of quarantine. My wife has taken up gardening but won’t tell me what she is going to plant”.   The grocery stores have started controlling how many people can enter at a time.  They have an area taped off that says “line starts here”.  The woman in front of me was grumbling about that. It didn’t bother me.  If you’ve ever had to pee at an NFL game, you’ve already done this.  No big deal.

I love this stuff. I think it is because it makes me smile.  And, if I am going to smile, this is where I have to do it.  Because, once I go out with my balaclava covering the bottom of my face and a ball cap covering most of the rest, no one knows what the hell I’m doing back there. You can even utter a few obscenities.  Any show of emotion is futile. But it does give me an idea for a new cottage industry.  Funny face masks.  You could add your smile, or frown, or anything else to the mask.  I went to Walmart today and saw a woman who’s mask had a cat nose and whiskers.  You’ve got to like that. 

The thing is, this virus is going to be with us for a while and, just like a visiting relative, you make the best of it and look forward to the day it’s gone.  I also look forward to the day my store again has toilet paper, and egg roll wrappers.  Never saw that one coming.  And, I look forward to my next haircut. I had no idea it grew this fast.  Another 30 days and I may consider macrame.

So, until that time, I will sit here laughing at my own jokes, drawing pictures in the dust on the table, talking to the squirrels, and playing ‘name that bark’ with the dogs.  It’s all good.  Just sayin.

About oldmainer

I am a retired manager living in Southern Maine and a would be writer of poetry, narratives, short stories, and random opinions, and that's how Oldmainer was born. Recently, I decided to try an experiment. I added photography to the mix, using only a cheap cell phone with a limited camera and the editing software that came with it, and added the blog site Inklings at poormanspoet.wordpress.com to showcase the results. So, feel free to use whatever you find interesting or worthy, but please honor the terms of my copyright when and if you do. They may not be much, but they are still a piece of me. I appreciate your checking me out and hope that you find something that will encourage a return visit. Thanks for stopping by.
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11 Responses to Have You Heard The One About

  1. Osyth says:

    My mum was a child in a London suburb in WW2. She remembers it quite fondly and it is always clear to me that the reason she has the capacity to not weep and wail every time the War is mentioned is because people had that ‘keep buggering on’ mindset that Churchill asked of them. And they smiled. And they laughed. And they made the most of the meagre rations they had …. one of her favourite stories concerns my grandmother coming triumphant from the fishmonger with some fish. She cooked it and served it up with whatever she could and said ‘It’s called Ling and the fish man says it tastes like cod’. My Uncle, the baby of the family took a bite, contemplated and said ‘you heard him wrong. It think he said it’s called string and it tastes like cord’. Now off to customise my mask with a big warm smile 😊

    Liked by 1 person

    • oldmainer says:

      Love the story. LOL. As a child of the depression, I can appreciate the shortages and sacrifices. And the laughs around the kitchen table.

      Liked by 2 people

      • Osyth says:

        Have you read ‘The Boy’s In The Boat’ by Daniel M Brown? I think the greatest lessons are to be learned from those of you that have lived through real hardship. We all have the capacity, you serve as a reminder that it is there.

        Like

      • oldmainer says:

        I have not read it, but I will check it out. Thanks for the lead.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Osyth says:

        It was recommended to my husband when, for reasons best known to himself, told a fellow sitting next to him on a flight that his wife was an ex-Olympic rower. Which is perfectly true but I’ve never got to the bottom of why he felt the need to tell a stranger. That said, I am very grateful because it’s a fantastic story. And a true one. If you find it, I hope you enjoy it – will be very interested to know what you think, actually

        Like

      • oldmainer says:

        My library supposedly has it, however, they are closed. Will pursue it when able. Anxious to read it.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Osyth says:

        I’d send you my copy but sadly it’s in France 😔….

        Like

  2. George says:

    LOL…..really, what else can you do is laugh and try to find humor in things going on around you. The alternative is just too depressing.

    Like

  3. Miriam says:

    Thanks for the smiles this morning. Love your attitude and wish more people had it.

    Like

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