Lighten Up

Ah yes.  Another day.  Monday I think.  Not sure as they all kind of run together anymore.  The only thing that distinguishes one from the next is the weather.  But that is outside, so I don’t have to deal with it, because I’m not supposed to be out there anyway.  At least not so that, like a football player, I could catch or carry.

I don’t know if it is because I have been in here so long or if senility is blossoming, but I have started to notice a change in my attitude.  It’s kind of like my life has taken a deep breath and is exhaling it slowly.  Everything is kind of slowing down, and I’m OK with it.  Like everyone else, my routine is much altered.  Where just a few weeks ago I was looking for things to get me out of the house, I am now looking for things to do in it.

I used to be fond of the phrase “as time permits” because it gave me an excuse not to do something in the moment.  I don’t have that any more and I am finding I don’t miss it.  Time permits me to do all sorts of things, a lot of them things I don’t really want to do but now have no reason not to.  Household chores for instance.  Hate them.  I believe dust was created explicitly as an irritant so we would always have something to complain about.  Vacuuming and laundry are a close second.  But, since there is no escape, my methodical mind is plotting how to deal with them.  For instance, if I clean one room a day, I can do the whole house in about a week instead of, well, never mind. I even cleaned the refrigerator the other day.

I’m beginning to appreciate the meaning of ‘attitude’.  If I have a positive one, things go a lot better. Getting one is a little more difficult.  But, that too, is within my reach.  If there is one thing about a crisis, it is that buried in it somewhere is an opportunity for humor.  A chance to snicker.  A chance to lighten up.  A chance to laugh in it’s face.  With that in mind, I would like to share with you some of the wit that has found its way onto my screen recently.  Perhaps it will make today seem a little less tedious.

I love Texan’s because they are all freaking out over the Coronavirus but have never hesitated to buy Tamales out of the back of a truck.

The virus must be wrecking India.  I haven’t received one call in 3 days about my extended car warranty.

My cleaning lady just called and advised that she will be working from home and will send us instructions on what to do.

We thought we would have flying cars by 2020.  But no.  Instead, we are teaching people how to wash their hands.

That moment that you are worried about the elderly and realize you are the elderly,

This is it.  The day your dogs have been waiting for.  The day they realize their owners can’t leave the house and they get you 24/7. Dogs everywhere are rejoicing. Cats however, are contemplating suicide.

How come the liquor stores don’t have empty shelves?  Are people not realizing they will be quarantined with their spouse and kids?

My wife and I just had an hour long conversation.  She’s really nice.  Apparently she works in the medical field.

The only good thing about the next few weeks is that the whole country should realize that we can survive in a world without celebrities and professional sports.  The farmers aren’t shutting down.  

I haven’t decided where I want to go for Easter.  The living room or the bedroom.

Now that we have everyone washing their hands together.  Next week, turn signals 

First time in history that we can save the human race while laying in front of a TV doing nothing.  Let’s not screw this up.

Gas is finally affordable and we can’t go anywhere.











About oldmainer

I am a retired manager living in Southern Maine and a would be writer of poetry, narratives, short stories, and random opinions, and that's how Oldmainer was born. Recently, I decided to try an experiment. I added photography to the mix, using only a cheap cell phone with a limited camera and the editing software that came with it, and added the blog site Inklings at to showcase the results. So, feel free to use whatever you find interesting or worthy, but please honor the terms of my copyright when and if you do. They may not be much, but they are still a piece of me. I appreciate your checking me out and hope that you find something that will encourage a return visit. Thanks for stopping by.
This entry was posted in Aging, Faith, Funny, Health, Home, Humor, Laugh, Life, Perspective, Reflection, Relationships and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to Lighten Up

  1. scifihammy says:

    I like your attitude and thanks for the laugh! 😀


  2. msmcword says:

    I have had the same thought about gas prices going down. And I have something else to add: are traffic reports really necessary right now?


  3. George says:

    Thanks for the laughs, Bob.


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