You May Be A Mainer If

For years I have enjoyed Jeff Foxworthy’s predictions about whether or not you may be a redneck.  His wit allowed him to poke a little fun at those that populate the Southern climes of the states. I guess I thought it so amusing because it typified the “good ole boy” as he is so often characterized.

A few days ago I got to thinking about this and started to ponder the types of things that so often typify a region or a populace by applying Jeff’s insight to those of us that live up here in Maine.  I quickly realized we seem to have a lot of “good ole boys” of our own.  So, in the quest to bring a sense of reality to the world about us guys up here, I decided to list a few Mainerisms.

1) You may be a Mainer if you think all pickup trucks are manufactured with a snowplow.
2) You may be a Mainer if you have 12 ballcaps and always wear the same one.
3) You may be a Mainer if you think an alewife is a woman married to a bartender.
4) You may be a Mainer if an “Italian Sub” only has ham in it.
5) You may be a Mainer if you believe that the Subaru is the official state vehicle.
6) You may be a Mainer if lunch consists of a whoopie pie and a Moxie.
7) You may be a Mainer if you think two of the seven deadly sins are not hunting and not fishing.
8) You may be a Mainer if you own an ice auger.
9) You may be a Mainer if your other car is a snowmobile.
10) You may be a Mainer if the visor of your ball cap is always walking in the same direction you are.
11) You may be a Mainer if you think “Ayah” and “Jeasley” are real words.
12) You may be a Mainer if your dog is either a black lab or a golden retriever
13) You may be a Mainer if you expect the school bus driver to pull over and allow all the traffic behind it to pass.
14) You may be a Mainer if you think a license plate that says MAINE is a vanity plate.
15) You may be a Mainer if you think the four seasons are Summer, Fall, Winter, and Mud.
16) You may be a Mainer if, wherever you go, you meet someone you know, or someone who knows someone you know.
17) You may be a Mainer if you can field strip and clean your hunting rifle while your wife is in the grocery store.
18) You may be a Mainer if your wardrobe consists entirely of L.L. Bean and Carhartt.
19) You may be a Mainer if you have pictures of a deer you shot or a fish you caught, but none of your wife or kids.
20) You may be a Mainer if you think Connecticut is a southern state.
21) You may be a Mainer if your alphabet does not include an R.

But remember.  Don’t brag just because you are one.  Ayah, you betcha neighba.

 

 

 

 

 

About oldmainer

I am a retired manager living in Southern Maine and a would be writer of poetry, narratives, short stories, and random opinions, and that's how Oldmainer was born. Recently, I decided to try an experiment. I added photography to the mix, using only a cheap cell phone with a limited camera and the editing software that came with it, and added the blog site Inklings at poormanspoet.wordpress.com to showcase the results. So, feel free to use whatever you find interesting or worthy, but please honor the terms of my copyright when and if you do. They may not be much, but they are still a piece of me. I appreciate your checking me out and hope that you find something that will encourage a return visit. Thanks for stopping by.
This entry was posted in Country, Friendship, Home, Humor, Ice, Insight, Laugh, Life, Maine, Perspective, Random Thoughts, Seasons, Snow and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

10 Responses to You May Be A Mainer If

  1. Aside from the dead deer and fish, that’s really funny and I don’t know what a Moxie is.

    Liked by 1 person

    • oldmainer says:

      First produced in 1885 as a nerve tonic in Lowell MA, it is the oldest continually bottled carbonated soft drink in the world. However, it is pretty much isolated to New England. We have a Moxie Festival up here every year. Pretty exciting, huh??

      Like

  2. quiall says:

    hahaha. What about the lobster! There has got to be something about lobster. Or maybe that is my New Brunswick, Canada showing.

    Like

  3. Paul Hardesty says:

    IF you pronounce all words ending in R as an A, you diffidently are a MAINER. LOL.

    Like

  4. George says:

    These all made me smile and since we’ve spent a lot of time up there I can relate. Tell me, even though Maine is a smaller state, are some of these regional or it it pretty much across the state.

    Like

    • oldmainer says:

      I’ve heard Jeasley mostly up around Aroostook County. Moxie is big in Central Maine (Lewiston/Auburn). They have a festival every year in Lisbon. The Original Italian sandwich originated in Portland and the only meat in it is ham. The rest are pretty generic and/or tongue in cheek. Good ole boys are everywhere.

      Liked by 1 person

      • George says:

        Lol…an Italian sandwich with only ham. New Jersey would be mortified.

        Like

      • oldmainer says:

        There is a local chain called Amato’s that started years ago selling ham sandwiches on the docks. They contain American cheese, slices of tomato, onions, green pepper and sour pickle, Kalamata olives and salad oil.[5]
        Personally, I grew up in Boston and fondly remember a little shop called Santoros. The real deal.

        Like

  5. Paul says:

    Enjoyed, this very much……

    Like

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