I can’t believe it is finally almost over. I’m talking about the political holocaust that has been perpetrated upon us by the media. It is 24/7 and there is nowhere to hide. Each day the mailman brings me yet another couple of pounds of political ads and flyers telling me that the persons portrayed have been doing, or will do, wondrous things on my behalf. As such, my vote is required for them to bring their industriousness to fruition. About the only thing that I learned from these epistles of pompous prodigiousness is who my local state representative is. At least, their name sounded vaguely familiar.
When the phone rings, be afraid, very afraid. It is probably another pollster or campaign volunteer, lurking is the bowels of a political office somewhere, just waiting to probe my psyche as it pertains to my voting proclivity. Fortunately, since most calls are electronically generated, there is usually a delay between when you pick up and when a volunteer realizes they have a live one. This allows me time to give two quick “hello’s” and to hang up without having to interface. Besides, they really only want to know how I plan to vote. Come on. If people really wanted them to know that, they wouldn’t put curtains on voting booths.
This morning, I sat down to read the Sunday paper. I decided to skip any article, commentary, or opinion piece that dealt with the upcoming elections. In so doing, I greatly simplified my life. I was done in about ten minutes. I think I spent most of my time reading the restaurant review, perusing the real estate listings, checking out the sports section, and doing the daily puzzle. Of course, it doesn’t help that the papers publisher and I are politically opposed, so there is never a lot to read that I agree with anyway.
But I think the TV is the worst. It doesn’t make any difference if you have a DVR or not. Even the programming is not exempt. The news outlets are drooling over this stuff. Pick an opinion, any opinion, and you can find it. Then there are the talk shows that are decidedly biased, and it doesn’t make any difference if it is FOX, MSNBC, or CNN. They all have an agenda and it is not to report the news. It is to tell you what you are supposed to think. I don’t need any help, thank you.
I guess the thing that bothers me the most is the vitriol. We have a very tightly run race for both our next Governor and a State Representative. Surprisingly, in the debates as well as their personal campaign advertising, they all have been relatively civil. However, the outside advertising, millions of dollars worth, from people that don’t know any of the candidates beyond their party affiliation, would have you believe that the other guy is a flawed, incompetent, degenerate. Certainly not socially or professionally worthy of my vote. But this apparently has not dampened the spirits of the legions of volunteers, celebrities, and protest groups that are rallying around the “get out the vote” effort.
Anyway, come next Tuesday, we chop down the beanstock and discover the fruits of what has been sown. And while the media starts regrouping and developing their spin on what happened and why, I will be able to once again rock back in my recliner and watch someone try to sell me a car or a pizza. I can hardly wait.