Temptation, Thy Name Is QVC

Someone much wiser then I once said “I can resist anything except temptation”.  It was probably a woman, but hey, I think it is probably a unisex thing.  At least, it is in my household. 

While putzing around the house on weekends, we usually have the TV on and, since the regular programming isn’t on, we often tune to QVC.  Big mistake.  Within a few days UPS is going to show up with a mystery package, the mystery being which one of us bought it and what the hell is it.  I am embarrassed to admit that there have been times when we both stared at a package and accused the other one of buying whatever it is.  How can it be that just a few days after you ordered that thing you just had to have, you can’t remember what it is when it arrives.  Ah, sweet mysteries of life.

It happened again this morning.  I was minding my own business when my wife threw out the first pitch with a “hey, that’s kind of neat.  Bob, come look at this.”  I walked over to see David demonstrating a battery operated hose and reel.  I have two 100 foot hoses that have worked fine for several years, so I don’t really need a hose, but I watched anyway.

The process then proceeds as follows.  There are 3 steps.
1) Denial…
   a) I’ve seen those before.  I don’t know how well those collapsible hoses hold up
   b) I’ve got enough hoses.  I don’t need any more
   c) They are only 50 feet long.  I don’t think they are long enough

2) Rationale…
   a) It would be a lot lighter then lugging those rubber hoses around
   b  The coil mechanism is battery operated.  I like that
   c) They have an option for an additional 25 foot extension.
   d) My hoses are getting old.  No telling how much longer they’ll last

3) Closing The Sale
   a) It sure would take up less room in the garage
   b) You only have to recharge the battery twice a year
   c) Hey, look at that.  They come in colors.
   d) They’re on easy pay.

So there you have it.  Another impulse buy bites the dust.  By mid summer, I will probably be out there yanking and swearing at a limp hose that won’t retract because it is one of those two times a year the battery has to be charged.  Where’s David when you need him?  That’s just great. Now I have to lug this hunk of plastic and lump of hose into the garage and plug it in and fall over it until I can get it to do what it is supposed to do.  Mumble, gripe.  I may never buy anything from them again.

What?  They’re showing a what?  Collapsible ladder?  I’ve got three ladders.  The last thing I need is another ladder.  Hey, that’s pretty neat.  Look at the way it folds into different shapes.  It does more then all my other ladders combined.  It sure would take up less room in the garage.  Today’s special value?  Easy pay?  Really??

Originally published March 2014

About oldmainer

I am a retired manager living in Southern Maine and a would be writer of poetry, narratives, short stories, and random opinions, and that's how Oldmainer was born. Recently, I decided to try an experiment. I added photography to the mix, using only a cheap cell phone with a limited camera and the editing software that came with it, and added the blog site Inklings at poormanspoet.wordpress.com to showcase the results. So, feel free to use whatever you find interesting or worthy, but please honor the terms of my copyright when and if you do. They may not be much, but they are still a piece of me. I appreciate your checking me out and hope that you find something that will encourage a return visit. Thanks for stopping by.
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10 Responses to Temptation, Thy Name Is QVC

  1. linda says:

    This is so true & very funny!


  2. we’ve got enough plastic food containers to store an entire supermarket


  3. George says:

    Ugh….my wife loves the channel. We even went in a tour of the place a few years ago. It’s addicting.


  4. Bob, maybe a news channel or better find a radio station with your kind of music. You like that. Hey Diane seen anything on QVC like a whole house speaker system for this great radio channel I found.


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