If there is one thing more prolific then politicians, it has to be laws. There are very few things that we do that are not covered by a law somewhere. Consequently we walk a fine line between being law abiding, and, how should I say this, tiptoeing on the dark side.
Laws go all the way back to the beginning of time when God issued the first one. “Don’t eat that”!! Since then it seems that any time someone either doesn’t want you to do something, or conversely, does, there is a new law. They control everything. Issac Newton came up with three laws of motion all by himself. And Albert Einstein developed the law of relativity, creating the space/time continuum. Over the years, everyone got into the act and by the time I was a boy, there was a new set of laws that had been created by parents just for kids. They are called the unwritten laws. “Do as I say, don’t do as I do”, and “If you keep crossing your eyes, they will stay that way”. I’m sure you all remember those, and more. And of course, being a kid it was our obligation to test them out, but that is another story.
So here is my point. Since everyone is supposed to live by the laws, and since everyone continues to make up their own, I decided to add a few of my own. These are the laws that really govern our everyday life, so I am going to call them “Living Laws”. Here are the ones I have so far.
Law of Immersion: As soon as your hands are wet or covered with some substance, your nose with itch and/or you will have to pee.
Law of Observation: The probability of being observed is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
Law of Progression: If you change lines or lanes, the one you were in will move faster then the one you are in now.
Law of Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically if have not shaved, put on make-up, or are wearing old or faded clothes.
Law of Retrieval: A tool, nut, bolt, screw, etc, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible place in the room.
Law of Telephone Communication: If you call a wrong number, you will never get a busy signal. Someone will always answer.
Law of Lockers: If there are only two people in the locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.
Law of Surfaces” A slice of bread, prepared with butter, jam, or other substance, if dropped, will always land face down.
Law of Attendance” The people with seats furthest from the aisle always arrive last.
Law of Marketing: As soon as you find a product you like, it will be discontinued.
The Law of Repair-ability: The thing that you took apart will have developed more parts when you attempt to put it back together.