Addressing The “Stat”ic

The annual report that quantifies your blog stats for the previous year has just been published.  I was unaware that such data was available since I don’t remember getting one last year, probably because my stats were not that memorable.  At least, that would be my guess.

This year, however, it looks like I have made some strides in the readership department.  Hits to the website have increased and I think there were even some people that read more then one post. Awesome.

I do like the way the results are displayed.  For instance, one very popular site had it’s hits compared to exhibits at the Louvre. Specifically,  if each visit to the website had been an exhibit at the Louvre, it would take four days to visit them all.  Man, that’s a lot of exhibits.  Another said that if the visits were converted to trips on a cable car which holds 60 people, it would take 45 trips to carry them all.  It kind of gives boring numbers a new perspective, doesn’t it.

My results were a little less impressive, but still respectable.  They said if my visits were related to subway trains that carry 1200 passengers, it would take four trips to carry them all.  However, it should be noted that there would be several seats available on the last trip and, we all know how dangerous riding the subway can be anyway.  I would rather they had said “if each visit was a bottle of beer, you would have had to drink twelve a day”.   Now that’s a stat I can relate to.

All this got me to thinking. Where would I like to be next year.  Since there are no guarantees that the stats will remain at last years level,  how can I assure that I meet and hopefully eclipse the previous viewership. Several things  came to mind, and, in as much as I know this burning question no doubt haunts many of you, I thought, in the name of fellowship, that I would list a few to get your creative juices flowing.  Feel free to use any that apply.

1) Include warning labels in your posts. “Failure to follow this blog can be hazardous to your health” or “Ignoring this blog can and will be used against you”.

2) Offer incentives.  “Read three posts and get the fourth one free” or “Read ten posts to become eligible to receive one free comment or three free likes”.

3) Create a sense of urgency. “Read now as this is a limited time offer” or “Quantities are limited”.

4) Offer guarantees.  “If you are not completely satisfied, your payment will be refunded in full”, or “All posts can be exchanged for one of equal or greater value”.

5) Select a slogan.  “When you care enough to read the very best” or ‘A blog is a terrible thing to waste”.

6) Appeal to their sense of status.  “This blog was created for those who both appreciate and can afford only the best” or “Add this blog to your other priceless jewels”.

7) Tie it to their health.  “Ask your doctor if this blog is right for you” or “Reading this post can improve your vision”.

8) Play on their sympathies.  “One in every five people will not have a blog to read tonight” or, “Just one blog a day can make a difference. Start today”.

9) Tie it to their faith. “Reading this blog is the Christian thing to do” or “God reads this blog. He must have a reason”.

10) If all else fails, resort to threats. “Statistics show that people who don’t read blogs die younger” or “Failure to read this blog will result in significant penalties”.

So there you are. Ten keys to achieving success.  Let me know how you do.  I for one, am expecting a banner year.

P.S. All hits to this website are retained  for training purposes:)



About oldmainer

I am retired and live in southern Maine with my wife and two dogs. I started Oldmainer as an outlet for my occasional opinions and random observations, with some poetry thrown in. I welcome anyone that wants to kick back and join me here on the porch, exploring all the gifts we have been given and the memories collected. Thanks for stopping by.
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6 Responses to Addressing The “Stat”ic

  1. Thanks for confirming that I had passed some magic number of views to receive the helper monkey treatment! Apart from linking to blog events, building community and using Twitter and Facebook, there doesn’t seem to be much that can be done to grow one’s readership! I’m a little envious of those who say they have not bothered to promote a blog and still have numerous followers. Sue


    • oldmainer says:

      Don’t be envious. Followers do not equate to readers. I do not promote although a couple of things have found their way to Twitter. When I started this blog, I decided I was going to write for my enjoyment and hopefully yours. A good day for me may be 5 or 6 views. Occasionally, something I write hits a cord however.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. you must have been in advertising – clever stuff all around


  3. Hilarious, as usual. How about – this blog guarantees one laugh at least per read. I’d definitely sign on for that. Send them over to my blog and I’ll vouch for you.


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