I may not be the smartest tool in the shed, but I can hold my own. I must admit however that I do admire those over achievers among us that seem to be able to do anything.
“Hi Ed. How’s it going”?
“Fine, and you”?
Pretty good. Supposed to be a nice weekend. I think I’ll do some work in the yard.”
“Me too. I have a load of lumber being delivered and I am going to build a shed. What are your plans”?
Um, well, I thought I might coil up the hose.”
See what I mean. There are those that can and there are those that watch. I’m a watcher. I may be able to fix or refurbish some stuff, but when it comes to building anything, I lack a couple of skills. Ability would be one.
But each of us in our own way brings something to the party. Although I may not have a lot of original thoughts, I do excel in one category. I am exceptionally good at taking instruction. I wasn’t always that way. It has been acquired over the years. Long ago, it required a request to prompt me to action. “Hon, would you take out the trash”? But somehow, over the years, requests have become both obsolete and unnecessary. Today, the seemingly casual statement “the trash is full” is recognized for what it is. I know now that she is not just making conversation.
This innate skill is so well honed that I automatically respond to all manner of things. When my neighbor mentioned how fast the grass seemed to be growing this year, I felt obligated to mow my lawn. I don’t know. Just something about the way he was looking at my yard.
So it was with some surprise that, while buying lawn chemicals at Home Depot, the young lady that was checking me out said “strip down facing me”. I am sure the color drained from my face and I know I started to sweat. However, having recently read where the EPA is cracking down on the misuse of chemicals and fertilizers for making bombs, I rationalized it was better to do as instructed then to argue. After all, look what they do at airports. So I slowly began removing my clothes. That’s when the screaming started and I found myself surrounded by two guys in plain clothes that turned out to be store security. They asked me what the hell I thought I was doing. I tried to explain that I was just complying with the clerks request. That is when she said “sir, I was referring to swiping your card in the card reader”.
Why the hell couldn’t she have just said that. I could do that. Now, because of one little mistake, I can’t go back there anymore. When I told my wife what had happened, she just gave me that old glassy stare and said “and you wonder why I prefer to wait in the car.” Like it was my fault. Just sayin.