And The Winner Is

I  can’t believe it is that time again.  I mean, where did the time go?  Where did the warm summer days and cricket filled nights disappear to.  Of course we knew it was coming.  It always does, just like clockwork.  One day we are just chillin and the next thing we know, wham, there it is.  No, I’m not talking about Autumn.  I wish I were.  I’m talking about mid-terms.  The time when we experience life after death in Congress and when all the “wanna-be’s” decide they are part of the next coming.

I am an independent and have voted both parties over the years.  I don’t think I have missed an opportunity to vote since turning 21.  Back then, I used to be concerned about the people that didn’t take the time to vote.  Now I worry about the one’s that do.

Today a candidates virtue is only as good as their opponents last  commercial.  I may not know where he/she stands on major issues, but I sure as hell know when they got their last parking ticket, swore at their spouse, didn’t attend a charitable event, or worse, registered a vote outside of party lines.

I think the thing I find the most amusing is the promises that are made “if I am elected”.  We have a young lady up here that is running for the U.S. Senate.  She has zero political experience (unless you consider her time spent in the ACLU) and frankly, until two months ago, no one had ever heard of her.  She now has three commercials running constantly (all paid for by PAC’s from outside Maine) telling us the reason she is running is because “the people of Maine deserve a voice in Congress).  Of course we do.  We’re guaranteed it.  The important thing is what that voice says”.   If she were to win, which is highly unlikely,  I can just see her upon being sucked into that vortex called Washington.

“Well hi there young lady.  I’m Harry Reid, but you can call me Uncle Harry.  We’re one big family here.  Where are you from”?

“OMG.  Harry Reid.  You are my idol.  I’m from Maine.”

“Maine huh.  And where is that exactly?  Never mind.  It doesn’t make any difference.  You’re here now.  And it appears that you are one of us.”

“Yes sir.  Here to do the people’s bidding.”

“Chuckle chuckle.  And a good sense of humor too.  That will stand you in good stead here as most of what goes on in Congress is laughable.”

“Well Mr. Reid, I mean Harry, um Uncle Harry, I was hoping I would meet you because I have  a few ideas I would like to run by you”.

“I’m sure you have, and I appreciate that, but first we have to get you up and running.  That’s what families do.  Help each other.  Support each other.  Vote like each other.  Of course, we have a few red headed step children that sometimes decide to do the “right” thing (snicker), but you have probably never heard of them.  They don’t get appointed to any committees or anything.”

“I understand, I think.  I need to introduce them as a bill and put them up for consideration, right”.

Well, kind of.  It depends on the issue.  Being a junior Senator, you have several options available.  You can get a Senator with some clout to  co sponsor the bill.  Or, you can tie yourself to a lobbyist that will agree to anything you say, for a price.  Or you can do it the good old American way and secretly tie it to a totally irrelevant bill and hope no one notices it until it has passed.”

“Isn’t that kind of underhanded”

“Hey, I don’t make the rules, I just shape them so to speak.  Well, I’ve gotta run.  Hope to get to chat with you again sometime. Perhaps if you get re-elected.  Oh, and you might want to introduce yourself to Senator Patty Murry.  She can show you where the ladies room is.”



About oldmainer

I am a retired manager living in Southern Maine and a would be writer of poetry, narratives, short stories, and random opinions, and that's how Oldmainer was born. Recently, I decided to try an experiment. I added photography to the mix, using only a cheap cell phone with a limited camera and the editing software that came with it, and added the blog site Inklings at to showcase the results. So, feel free to use whatever you find interesting or worthy, but please honor the terms of my copyright when and if you do. They may not be much, but they are still a piece of me. I appreciate your checking me out and hope that you find something that will encourage a return visit. Thanks for stopping by.
This entry was posted in Humorous, Life, Narrative, Politics, Random Thoughts, Satire and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to And The Winner Is

  1. splitspeak says:…wow!
    “Back then, I used to be concerned about the people that didn’t take the time to vote. Now I worry about the one’s that do.”

    Did I mention “wow!”?

    Love and admiration,


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