Explaining the Venus, Mars Thing

OK, all you guys out there.  Listen up because this is important and can definitely have an impact on your well being.  I don’t care if you are married or single, what I am about to impart pertains to you.  First let’s start by destroying a myth.  Women are not the weaker sex.  If they were, they would be putting the toilet seat up for us.  Got it?  No, in reality they just hit us with a velvet hammer. It doesn’t feel as bad, but the impact is the same.

Let’s be honest here.  The line between criticism and advice is very fine, and it should never be administered by you.  If it is, it will likely not be very well received, nor will you.  Many of you make the mistake of thinking that when she says “what do you think” that she really wants to know. You would be wrong.  She already, somewhere in the previous conversation, has told you what you should think.  This question is merely a test to see if you were listening.

Where most men get in trouble is when they try to express themselves.  When was the last time you made a statement and watched one eyebrow arch, a questioning look come over her face, and the dreaded question was asked.  “What do you mean by that?”  You already have one foot in, so you begin the verbal tap dance that escalates quickly into a flamenco, ending with an impromptu, fabricated finale just before the curtain falls.  On you.

It doesn’t have to be that way you know.  All you have to do is understand one word. Hormone.  Yup.  That’s it.  We all have them, but they manifest themselves differently in males versus females.  In the male, about 98% becomes testosterone while in the female it peaks out around 3%, unless she has a headache when it drops dramatically.  Most of the female hormones lean more heavily toward the thyroid which, if not controlled, can cause irritability and confusing speech patterns.  Knowing this, we can avoid a lot of grief by just being more tactful in our approach to meaningful conversation.  This is not easy, so I have included a chart to help you avoid making some of the most common mistakes.  Once you have mastered your “approach”, I guarantee that your life will change for the better.  I had one guy tell me that within three weeks, he was able to move off the couch.  Amazing.  So take heed, and good luck. 

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About oldmainer

I am retired and live in southern Maine with my wife and two dogs. I started Oldmainer .wordpress.com as an outlet for my occasional opinions and random observations, with some poetry thrown in. I welcome anyone that wants to kick back and join me here on the porch, exploring all the gifts we have been given and the memories collected. Thanks for stopping by.
This entry was posted in Home, Humorous, Laugh, Life, Marriage, Reflection, Relationships. Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to Explaining the Venus, Mars Thing

  1. quiall says:

    Hahha. A man that gets it! Good job.

    Like

  2. Theresa says:

    Hysterical, oldmainer. I can’t believe this liberated woman was laughing out loud…

    Like

  3. Chocolate Bob, you forgot the chocolate. 🙂

    Like

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