I was one of the lucky ones I guess. I got to retire early. I’m not sure why really. Perhaps they just got tired of trying to find things I could do. I never asked, nor did I care. Once I established that my retirement package and Social Security benefits would allow us to continue to live comfortably, I was out the door.
After retiring, we continued to live in the same community for a couple of years, so I had the opportunity to attend several retirement parties of former co workers and through observation, two things became abundantly clear.
a) It was like high school graduation all over again. After waiting for this day like forever, suddenly it was here and you realize you don’t have a clue what you are going to do next.
b) You rationalize that you are too important to be doing this. After all, you are an integral part of the organization and they are going to be hard pressed to replace you.
It isn’t until the hats and horns are put away and all those people in your life have moved on with theirs that you slowly start to see the signs that led to this afterlife.
Fortunately for those of you that read this that are ‘rowing towards the falls’ so to speak, I have taken the time to analyze the situation and have compiled a list of things that are telltale signs that it is time to pack it in, and I will now share them with you, sans fee. They are as follows:
1) Your in basket sits next to one labeled ‘further in’,
2) The thought of the weekend approaching helps you get through Monday.
3) Your address book contains only names ending in M.D.
4) The phrase ‘the system is down’ takes on a whole new meaning
5) The gleam is your eyes is from the sun hitting your bifocals
6) You realize you know more about your computer then you do your spouse
7) You have to stay up late to watch the 8 o’clock news
8) Happy hour is a nap
9) You have difficulty getting out of your recliner
10) Your memory is not as sharp as it used to be and, your memory is not as sharp as it used to be.
If any of these sound familiar, well, worker beware. It is only a matter of time before you too are walking the fertile fields of obsolescence wondering what the hell happened. So here is one final tip. Make sure you find something to give purpose to your life and you will live much longer. My wife confirmed this. She said if my purpose is to annoy people, I will live forever. Just sayin’.