Perceptions

I just got through reading a post in Good Time Stories called “Judging Others – A Biker’s Story”  It was all about perceptions based on the way a person looks.  How if a person visually does not live up to our expectations, we mentally file them under one of the negative categories that we carry around in our head.  They are called paradigms and everyone fits in one of them.

This can go either way however.  We also form favorable opinions of people based on what we see.  A person in a pin stripe suit is generally perceived to be successful and  intelligent when in fact it is little more then window dressing.  That is one reason P.T. Barnum said “there’s a sucker born every minute.  Trompe L’Oeil. Fool the eye.  I can give you a personal example.

I worked for a major corporation and, upon reaching a certain income level, was eligible to join a management fraternity, which I did.  One of the perks was to be able to participate in a rather attractive mutual fund, which I also did.  While I was officed in Dallas, my manager was also the regional head of the society (fraternity).  As such, he was required to annually hold meetings at all three of the districts within his region and present the benefits of the society to any new managers eligible to join.  Just prior to one such trip to El Paso (we had a large manufacturing facility right across the border in Juarez), he stepped into my office and plopped the mutual fund prospectus on my desk and said “I want you to present the financials at the meeting”.

Now you have to understand that I flunked algebra in high school and had a total of two college credits to my name.  To me the Dow Jones and NASDAQ were things they published in the Wall Street Journal for “other people” to read.  I was terrified.  But since you don’t say “no” to your boss, I began to read the prospectus and make notes, finally putting together a presentation.

On the day of the meeting, in a room full of managers all the way up to vice president level, I took the podium and made my presentation without ever having a clue what I was talking about.  Soon, my biggest fear became “what do I do if someone asks a question”.  And ask they did.  After the formal presentations, I was approached by one of those vice presidents who wanted some stock advice.  That was when a good offense became a good defense and I deflected most of the questions to others in the group that were only too willing to relate stories of their financial prowess.

But here’s the point.  They only knew what they had seen.  They had filtered me through their personal paradigms and concluded that I was who they wanted me to be.  And that was enough.  I know that some of the people that gathered around me after the meeting were there because the VP was there.  This only elevated my status more because hey, if the VP is asking my advice, I must be knowledgeable. It is so easy to make assumptions without any substantiating facts.

I think I am a little more cynical today because I have done the same thing many times and been burned as a result.  But the tendency is inherent.  I still automatically “evaluate” everyone I meet, before we even speak.  The difference today is, I try to be more open minded as the relationship unfolds.  Instead of adding new facts onto my existing assumptions, I try harder now to replace those that do not bear out, and that’s probably as good as it will get.  Kind of sad, isn’t it.

 

Advertisements

About oldmainer

I am retired and live in southern Maine with my wife and two dogs. I started Oldmainer .wordpress.com as an outlet for my occasional opinions and random observations, with some poetry thrown in. I welcome anyone that wants to kick back and join me here on the porch, exploring all the gifts we have been given and the memories collected. Thanks for stopping by.
This entry was posted in Communication, Life, Opinions, Reflection, Self Esteem, Senses, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to Perceptions

  1. I think that’s common…when we see something our brains automatically go to their files and pull out any info that might relate to what we are looking at, no matter how crazy. I see bikers and I immediately feel safe and happy. Other people have fear in their biker file. You are right. People base many things on who a person is with or what they look like. It’s difficult to not do that because that’s what our brains do but being away of that fact, can make us stop and reevaluate things before making any silly assumptions or snap judgment/decisions. We just have to take charge of our brains desire to “know it all.” 🙂 Nice post.

    Like

  2. I learned early in my prison career and it followed me into the police and that was, treat everyone as I would like to be treated. If they didn’t respond in kind, well watch out. We have a storehouse of experiences that determine how we will react.

    Like

  3. splitspeak says:

    Nice lesson learnt here. But you are right, it is hard to put into practise fully or at least consistently. It is an automatic response to evaluate people soon as we meet them, so it is very difficult to overcome that.

    Love, Mehak

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s