It is said that history repeats itself, and I believe that is true, because we are still making the same damn mistakes that have been made over and over and we still expect things to be different. But I have noticed one thing that does seem to change, a lot, and that is how we talk. I don’t mean languages or dialects. I mean we don’t call stuff what we used to call stuff. Today, we have to dress everything up to make it sound better. Kind of like putting a bow on a skunk. It’s still a skunk, it just looks better. Let me give you a few examples.
It used to be that if we didn’t get somewhere on time, we were late. Not anymore. Today, we were simply delayed or detained. And no one is ever busy. Instead, they are now temporarily unavailable. It seems that the old words just aren’t good enough anymore.
When I first went to work, I took orders over the phone and was called an order clerk. Today, those people are customer service representatives. Secretaries are now administrative assistants and trash collectors are sanitation engineers. Airline stewardesses are flight attendants, salesmen are account executives, and the local auto mechanic down at the garage is now an automotive technician at the service center. Employees are human resources and sales clerks are associates. Government workers are public sector employees. People who are hooked on alcohol or drugs are victims of substance abuse. Boats are now pleasure crafts, and mobile homes are pre-manufactured homes.
Are you starting to see what I mean? All this stuff is pretty much the same as it always was. It just sounds better. Illegal immigrants are undocumented workers and a bunch of flowers is a floral arrangement. If we can walk and chew gum at the same time, we are multi-tasking. Cell phones are now mobile devices. A baseball game is a sporting event and a piece of meat or fish is now called a protein.
I don’t know where all this is going, but I liked it a lot better when we could look at something and call it by what it was. But what do I know. I can’t change it, so I guess I will just have to learn to go along.
All this rhetoric has made me thirsty. I think I will jump in the car and head on down to the tavern and have a beer. Oops. Sorry. I mean I think I will jump in my pre-owned vehicle and head on down to the brew pub and have an adult beverage. Forgot myself there for a minute.