Every Dog Should Own A Person

I don’t know when I first realized that I was not in charge.  It wasn’t long after we brought home the first puppy.  She was so cute, so helpless.  As any proud new parents would do, we fawned over her.   The first few nights when she would wake up in her box and start to whimper, one of us would go pick her up until she went back to sleep.  And during the day, we followed her around, picking up the messes (opps, I mean mistakes. She was to cute for messes) that she made.  Of course, we would scold her,  right before we told her what a good girl she was.  Did I mention she was cute?   If she even looked hungry, a bowl would be provided.  Over time, it contained different types and flavors or dog food (ok, ok, and table scraps) while we narrowed down her favorites.  After all we reasoned.  If we didn’t give her what she wanted, she wouldn’t eat it.  Then we would (can you say quilt trip) worry that she was going to starve to death.  It was, we said, all just part of the training process. And it was.  Ours.

019Our whole vocabulary began to change.  We found ourselves constantly saying things like “Isn’t that adorable” and “look how smart she is”, and “oh no, she didn’t.  Not again.”  Housebreaking took a while, but we finally got the hang of it.  She didn’t, but we did. You just kind of hung around and watched her until she started to sniff the furniture.  Then you grabbed her “adorable” little body and ran for the door, hoping she didn’t spring a leak on the way.  And of course, we had to take her for walks so the neighbors could admire her too.  These were not scheduled, but instead occurred whenever she decided she wanted to go.

We also discovered that puppies like to chew. Anything.  So we bought her the obligatory toys to destroy instead of the furniture, however that only worked to a degree.  If you saw a toy lying near a chair for instance, it served only as a marker to draw your attention to the teeth marks on the legs.  Saved us a lot of time in the discovery process.

Over the years, we have had eight dogs, most of them rescued from kennels, including the current residents shown here.  And the only thing about them that is the same, is that they are all skilled in the art of manipulation.  We walk them when they decide they want to go.  We feed them when it is “time” (a period defined entirely by them, during which you drop whatever you are doing to fix them something to eat), you put 022them out whenever they stand near a door, you move over on the couch when they stretch out, you walk around them or step over them so they don’t have to move, you scratch and pat them whenever they give you “the eyes” (a look consistent across the whole canine spectrum and instinctively understood by anyone with a dog), and you run around throwing (and frequently retrieving) their ball purely for their enjoyment. We had one that would wait for my brother in law to get home from work so they could lay on the floor watching TV and share a beer. The cocker above would keep you up all night if you didn’t put him on the bed to assume his rightful place between us.  And we call this “ownership”. Really??  Really??

We once had a veterinarian tell us that if there is such a thing as reincarnation, she wanted to come back as one of our pets.  You know what?  So do we.

 I’m afraid I have to wrap this up.  It is 3:00 P.M. and they Always go out at 3:00 and they get a little surly if I’m late.


About oldmainer

I am a retired manager living in Southern Maine and a would be writer of poetry, narratives, short stories, and random opinions, and that's how Oldmainer was born. Recently, I decided to try an experiment. I added photography to the mix, using only a cheap cell phone with a limited camera and the editing software that came with it, and added the blog site Inklings at poormanspoet.wordpress.com to showcase the results. So, feel free to use whatever you find interesting or worthy, but please honor the terms of my copyright when and if you do. They may not be much, but they are still a piece of me. I appreciate your checking me out and hope that you find something that will encourage a return visit. Thanks for stopping by.
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15 Responses to Every Dog Should Own A Person

  1. I love this realistically funny take on being a dog owner! Too, true. Our old dog rules the roost, here. She has trouble getting around on the beautiful wood flooring – so we have obliged her with tacky (translation – pretty ugly) little carpets and runners all over the place, covering the floors that I love. What can you do?


  2. oldmainer says:

    She would accept no less. That is why she adopted you.


  3. sunfunrentals@gmail.com says:

    They are adorable. White dogs seem to be the fashion nowadays.


  4. kathy says:



  5. Lin says:

    Hey there, I think your blog might be having browser compatibility issues.
    When I look at your blog site in Ie, it looks fine but when opening in Internet Explorer, it has some overlapping.
    I just wanted to give you a quick heads up! Other then that, great blog!


  6. strawberryquicksand says:

    Nawwwww dogs are the best, aren’t they? I have two second hand ones at the moment. I would have never gotten a staffie, only his owner died and he was left alone in the house by himself with only the odd relative popping in to walk him and give him his daily feed. Poor little bugger – my heart just melted. He was the ugliest dog I had ever seen in my life, at first glance, but now I just think he is the cutest. 🙂


  7. The absolute truth. Cats do the same thing but in different ways. You can’t play with them unless you’re reading or typing and they lay on the book or keys. They all own us and truthfully, that’s find with me. I just love them and am happy to be a round them. 🙂 Wonderful and loving post. Enjoyed it very much. Adorarble dogs:)


  8. quiall says:

    You have just described my life with pets from our first when I was five. Brilliantly told. Gives me an idea for a post . . .


  9. Charlotte says:

    My 2 dogs own 2 humans, too! You are so right. We often say we want to be our dogs. 🙂


  10. oh, how I miss my last companion


  11. oldmainer says:

    I know what you mean. We have had to have some of our put down and it is one of the most painful experiences we have endured. It’s hard to think of the good days when your heart is breaking.


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