Immaculate Reception

When I was a manager, the task that I disliked more then any other was preparing the annual performance appraisals of my employees. Each year, I would struggle to make pertinent comments while showing compassion.  That was not always as easy as it would appear.  Sometimes I  would find myself entertaining a mental  comment unbecoming a manager, but instead would carefully phrase it so the issue was addressed tactfully but hopefully, the criticism was constructive.

 I am retired now, so I have more latitude.  As such, I am putting together a few suggestions of what the manager says and what he/she would like to say.  Hopefully, this will take some of the mystery out of the review  process.  Here we go.

Manager: This employee struggles to grasp the more basic responsibilities of the position.
Definition: This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.

Manager: This employee should seek opportunities outside of their current area of responsibility if they wish to advance.
Definition: This employee should go far and the sooner they start, the better.

Manager: This employee often does not live up to the requirements of the job.
Definition: This employee sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.

Manager: This employee believes their performance is above average.
Definition: This employee has delusions of adequacy.

Manager:  This employee has difficulty with verbal communication
Definition: When this employee opens their mouth, it is only to  change whatever foot was in there.

Manager: This employee requires a large degree of supervision
Definition: Must be watched constantly and only performs when cornered

Manager: As a supervisor, this employee has difficulty leading other people
Definition:  His people would follow him anywhere, however, only out of morbid curiosity.

Manager: Since his last appraisal, no substantial improvement has been noted.
Definition:  This employee has reached rock bottom and has begun to dig.

Manager:  Significant improvement is required if this employee is to remain in their present position.
Definition:  This employee would be over their head in a puddle.



About oldmainer

I am retired and live in southern Maine with my wife and two dogs of questionable origin. I created this blog as an outlet for my occasional opinions and random observations since my wife is tired of hearing them and, after 50 some odd years, probably with good reason. I appreciate your checking me out and hope that you find something that will encourage a return visit. Thanks for stopping by.
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2 Responses to Immaculate Reception

  1. Depriving a village of an idiot is definitely a good one Bob.


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