Immaculate Reception

When I was a manager, the task that I disliked more then any other was preparing the annual performance appraisals of my employees. Each year, I would struggle to make pertinent comments while showing compassion.  That was not always as easy as it would appear.  Sometimes I  would find myself entertaining a mental  comment unbecoming a manager, but instead would carefully phrase it so the issue was addressed tactfully but hopefully, the criticism was constructive.

 I am retired now, so I have more latitude.  As such, I am putting together a few suggestions of what the manager says and what he/she would like to say.  Hopefully, this will take some of the mystery out of the review  process.  Here we go.

Manager: This employee struggles to grasp the more basic responsibilities of the position.
Definition: This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.

Manager: This employee should seek opportunities outside of their current area of responsibility if they wish to advance.
Definition: This employee should go far and the sooner they start, the better.

Manager: This employee often does not live up to the requirements of the job.
Definition: This employee sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.

Manager: This employee believes their performance is above average.
Definition: This employee has delusions of adequacy.

Manager:  This employee has difficulty with verbal communication
Definition: When this employee opens their mouth, it is only to  change whatever foot was in there.

Manager: This employee requires a large degree of supervision
Definition: Must be watched constantly and only performs when cornered

Manager: As a supervisor, this employee has difficulty leading other people
Definition:  His people would follow him anywhere, however, only out of morbid curiosity.

Manager: Since his last appraisal, no substantial improvement has been noted.
Definition:  This employee has reached rock bottom and has begun to dig.

Manager:  Significant improvement is required if this employee is to remain in their present position.
Definition:  This employee would be over their head in a puddle.


About oldmainer

I am a retired manager living in Southern Maine and a would be writer of poetry, narratives, short stories, and random opinions, and that's how Oldmainer was born. Recently, I decided to try an experiment. I added photography to the mix, using only a cheap cell phone with a limited camera and the editing software that came with it, and added the blog site Inklings at to showcase the results. So, feel free to use whatever you find interesting or worthy, but please honor the terms of my copyright when and if you do. They may not be much, but they are still a piece of me. I appreciate your checking me out and hope that you find something that will encourage a return visit. Thanks for stopping by.
This entry was posted in Narrative and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Immaculate Reception

  1. laurie27wsmith says:

    Depriving a village of an idiot is definitely a good one Bob.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s